when i got to the party they gave me a forty
and i must have been thirsty
‘cause i drank it so quickly
when i got to the bedroom
there was somebody waiting
and it isn’t my fault that the barbarian raped me

when i went to get tested i brought along my best friend
melissa mahoney (who had once been molested)
and she knew how to get there
she knew all the nurses; they were all really friendly
but the test came out positive

i’ve had better days but i don’t care
‘cause i just sent a letter in the mail

when i got my abortion i brought along my boyfriend
we got there an hour before the appointment
and outside the building were all these annoying
fundamentalist christians; we tried to ignore them

i’ve had better days but i don’t care
oasis got my letter in the mail

when vacation was over
the word was all over that i was a crackwhore
melissa had told them
and so now we’re not talking except we have tickets
to see blur in october and i think we’re still going

i’ve seen better days but i don’t care
oh, i just got a letter in the mail
oasis sent a photograph it’s autographed and everything
melissa’s gonna wet herself i swear